Tactics to Kick the Inner Bully to the Curb
Fear is a Bully
Too often, especially for young women starting off in their careers, they don’t recognize that their biggest adversary lives in their head. And he’s super chatty, like a middle-school bully that never misses an opportunity to taunts us.
He’s really just a scared brat, but boy does he seem to make good points.
- That’s a bad idea.
- You’ll look stupid.
- You’ll be embarrassed.
- It’s never been done before.
- You’re biting off too much.
- You’re going to fail.
- You’re not going to succeed.
- You’re going to waste your time.
- You’re going to waste someone else’s time.
- What makes you think you can do it?
And on…
Right?
Just stop imagining things that don’t exist. Focus on now. And know that an idea, a vision, or a dream was given to you, not to someone else. It’s okay if they don’t like it, or get it, or recognize the value of it—that’s why it was given to you, not them.
Only action can combat fear, so act. It’s okay if what you do is not perfect. It might even turn out disastrous! I’ve done plenty of disastrous. But, you can always take another action right after that, learn, pivot, try again, speak again, figure out how to say or do something differently. Punch the bully in the face, shut the trap, and rewire your mind.
- It’s a good idea.
- I don’t care what I look like.
- I’m proud of my ideas.
- It’s never been done before! Perfect! Here I am!
- I’m ambitious, organized and have people to help me.
- Only by trying will I have odds at succeeding.
- I can do this.
- It’s a good use of my energy and time.
- It’s an opportunity for others.
- Of course I can do it. I might be the only one who can do it!
But don’t be bullied.
Be fearless.
~Tricia