on December 1, 2021

Forgiving Before Thanksgiving

Forgiving before Thanksgiving The holiday season is upon us and we will soon be sharing more time with loved ones. And there will also be the people who makes us crazy. Sometimes they are one and the same. There’s a saying, “Your parents know how to press all your buttons because they’re the ones who installed them.” Truth! This is where forgiveness comes in. If you truly want love, good cheer and joy to flow through you and around you this season, then make sure there isn’t anything inside you that is blocking it. It might mean forgiving people you see regularly or someone who is not in your life that you still resent or blame. Boundaries and communication are…Read More

love, life advice, forgiveness, healing, best life, family matters, life challenges

on October 7, 2021

Don't Be Bullied!

Fear is a Bully Sometimes we don’t recognize that nagging voice in our heads until after an opportunity has passed. And then we kick ourselves for falling for the bully that taunts us relentlessly and never gets tired! Fear is a Bully. And bullies show up saying a lot of useless things. That’s a bad idea. You’ll look stupid. You’ll be embarrassed. It’s never been done before. You’re biting off too much. You’re going to fail. You’re not going to succeed. You’re going to waste your time. You’re going to waste someone else’s time. What makes you think you can do it? And on… Right? Just stop imagining things that don’t exist. Focus on now. And know that an idea,…Read More

life advice, YA life, fearless, fearlessly, live fearless, live your life, YA friends, life experience

on August 14, 2021

Change the World One Brick at a Time

If you want to change the world, start with yourself. Only through learning to listen, ask questions, and genuinely understand each other better, can we develop the mutual respect that allows for openness and influence. With every conversation you are either adding bricks or taking away bricks, building walls or breaking down walls. Which is it going to be today? #listeningandlearning #listeningskills #changingminds#changingthegame #changingtheworld #changingthenarrative#understanding #communication #communicationskills#leadershipcommunication #leadershipskills #leadershipcoaching

communication, understanding, listening, young adult life, listening skills, changing minds, changing the world, leadership lessons, leadership skills, communication skills, building community, life skills, empathy

on July 1, 2021

Choose Friends that Lift You and Help You Grow

Do you ever wonder why some people just are not happy! They literally have everything, but are not joyful, satisfied, happy or content. If you’ve got these people in your life that can be vampires on your energy, so beware. Instead make sure your friends have a sense of purpose – or multiple purposes. It might be to succeed in college and lead their sorority in volunteer work. It might be about being the best doctor or therapist they can in order to help people. It might be as simple as making at least one person smile every day. It is generally not about becoming powerful or getting more likes, or buying a new handbag. But those can be good…Read More

friendship, friendship matters, young adult issues, young adult life, true friends, loyal friends, purpose in life, who we become

on May 4, 2021

Six Tips for College Students to Excel!

Your first summer internship? Feeling nervous? Not sure what to expect? Hoping you like it? Hoping you don’t mess up? Hoping people like you? Hoping you make some good connections? Try not to worry too much. All the other interns feel the same way. And all their leaders know you have a lot to learn and hopefully won’t be throwing you in to sink or swim without a little orientation as to the temperature of the water. But here’s a few tips to help you out. Enthusiasm and a good attitude go a long way! Repeat that all day long. A smile will usually get a smile. Be interested in all the opportunities to learn around you. Be comfortable asking…Read More

college life, leadership, life advice, summer internships, internships, success tips, work advice, college students, college internships

on April 2, 2021

The People Around You, Lower You or Lift You

Why do we care what others think? Well, yes, people do have the power to bully, shame, and kick us out of the “in” crowd. But does that matter? If you have to compromise who you are, maybe the “in” crowd is actually the “out” crowd. Stay true to your integrity no matter what. As some wise person said, at the end of the day, you’re the only one who has to live with yourself. Make that person the best possible you, not an imitation or reaction to someone else. Working on yourself is never wasted. When things are going well, when things are going wrong, when you are down, when you are up, when you are single, when you…Read More

integrity, student life, life advice, life struggles, integrity matters, living your values, self-development

on March 3, 2021

Female Friendships Are Powerful

One thing all my novels have in common, whether superhero stories or historical adventure novels is that they have strong females with strong female friendships. And since it’s Women’s History Month, it seems like a good time to post this. Female friendships are powerful. Five Little Reminders to Being a Good Friend Listen supportively without giving advice on personal matters unless you are asked. Walk by their side through the hard times when there’s nothing to do but be present. Help them laugh when they are discouraged. Catch them when they fall. Remind them of all the wonderful and admirable things about them when they’ve been hurt. Lead with curiosity not condemnation when you think you might have differing opinions…Read More

friendship matters, female friends, women's history month, The Black Swan Files, friendship, encouragement

on February 2, 2021

28 Ways to Fill Yourself with Love!

Write down 28 things about yourself that you are grateful for—just about you and what’s going on in your life right now. “I am grateful for my patience…that I made someone laugh today…that I can smile at strangers…that I’m healthy…smart…” Meditate ten minutes a day, imaging sunshine filling every part of your being and shooting outward. Whatever your version of God or universal goodness, ask to be filled with so much love that it pushes all negative thoughts from your mind. Do this every morning. Drink half your weight in water every day this month. It will change your energy and alertness if you haven’t been doing this. Make it special with some lemon, cucumber or a favorite infusion. Get…Read More

tips for life, mastering your mojo, self-love, self-control, teen life, the good life, treat yourself, Valentine's Day, stress relief, self-reflection, life advice, investing in yourself, young adult life

on January 28, 2020

True Joy and Happiness is Internal

One of the things you find with age, is that your dreams achieved don’t always satisfy you in the way that you imagined they would. In fact, a lot of people around me seem to be suffering from a mid-decade malaise whether they are in their 20s 30s 40s 50s.  It doesn’t seem to matter. Writers call this the midway slump. It simply happens in the middle—no matter what your circumstances. And in books the writer often realizes, it’s because a character is not yet deep enough or connected/in conflict enough with other characters and nothing is driving the external plot. But real life can’t be written away. It requires action. Ultimately, happiness, joy and contentment cannot be satisfied by…Read More

life advice, tips for life, contentment, Life, love, acceptance, family, relationships, happiness, joy

on November 14, 2019

8 Tools for Coping with Emotional Upheaval

Introduction I was struck a little by the latest issue of Magnolia Journal. It talked a lot about accepting your flaws and imperfect life as it is—and living a determined life. It was a refreshing change to share some time with other people and their stories as they went through struggles, loss, and most important—transformation. (Thank you writers and determined people!) Transformation is awesome, but you know—it comes at a high cost. None of us are perfect. And no matter how much anyone makes their social media look like they are a rockstar, everyone is going through life’s struggles behind the scenes, often quietly struggling, and usually in isolation. It seems like a lot of people are in the tundra…Read More

emotional upheaval, loss, life struggles, determination, sorrow, transformation, wasteland, desolation, coping with emotional pain