on July 1, 2021

Choose Friends that Lift You and Help You Grow

Do you ever wonder why some people just are not happy! They literally have everything, but are not joyful, satisfied, happy or content. If you’ve got these people in your life that can be vampires on your energy, so beware. Instead make sure your friends have a sense of purpose – or multiple purposes. It might be to succeed in college and lead their sorority in volunteer work. It might be about being the best doctor or therapist they can in order to help people. It might be as simple as making at least one person smile every day. It is generally not about becoming powerful or getting more likes, or buying a new handbag. But those can be good…Read More

young adult issues, young adult life, true friends, loyal friends, purpose in life, who we become, friendship, friendship matters

on March 3, 2021

Female Friendships Are Powerful

One thing all my novels have in common, whether superhero stories or historical adventure novels is that they have strong females with strong female friendships. And since it’s Women’s History Month, it seems like a good time to post this. Female friendships are powerful. Five Little Reminders to Being a Good Friend Listen supportively without giving advice on personal matters unless you are asked. Walk by their side through the hard times when there’s nothing to do but be present. Help them laugh when they are discouraged. Catch them when they fall. Remind them of all the wonderful and admirable things about them when they’ve been hurt. Lead with curiosity not condemnation when you think you might have differing opinions…Read More

The Black Swan Files, friendship, encouragement, friendship matters, female friends, women's history month

on September 11, 2016

How to help a friend, colleague or family member through a rough spot.

Encouragement is a basic human need. It was late in my life when I really learned the importance and the power of encouragement. Once it struck, it struck deep. I began to understand this basic human need, I’ve gotten a little better at it. I’ve also learned it takes time and practice as well as insight and sincerity to really get it right. It’s easy to be rah-rah. That’s the quick pass at encouragement when you are running around to get stuff done and don’t actually have time to look the person in the face and see what’s up. Or the quick, ‘you can do it’, without recognizing what it really takes for the person to do it. Don’t get…Read More

valuing people, authentic encouragement, encouragement, encouraging others, friendship matters, how to, dreams, human needs, success, leadership tools, goals, mentoring, friendship, parenting, inspirational leadership, pay it forward, leadership